I experienced all the feels after reading this New York Times article. It was the one about a dying woman’s letter to her husband’s future wife.
My heart broke thinking about this woman’s battle with terminal cancer and having to leave her loved ones behind. And at the same time, I was completely inspired. It is one of the most inspiring takes on love I have read in a long time. It was a lesson for all of us on loving greatly.
One secret of a happy marriage is to Dance Like No One Is Watching. It's the 'little things' you do for one another and with one another behind the scenes that make an unbreakable partnership.
Take this for example, written by the woman of the New York Times article:
“Here is the kind of man Jason is: He showed up at our first pregnancy ultrasound with flowers. This is a man who, because he is always up early, surprises me every Sunday morning by making some kind of oddball smiley face out of items near the coffeepot: a spoon, a mug, a banana.
On the subject of food — man, can he cook. After a long day, there is no sweeter joy than seeing him walk in the door, plop a grocery bag down on the counter, and woo me with olives and some yummy cheese he has procured before he gets to work on the evening’s meal.”
I want to challenge you to find the little things in your relationship that will help you connect and bond on an even deeper level. What do you think of these ideas?
Physical Touch
Touch has a great effect on our connection with another person because it releases oxytocin, or the “love hormone,” and makes us feel closer to our significant others. Every day, get physical! Cuddle, kiss, hold hands, get a massage, the list goes on. Have fun!
Create Rituals
You might think of rituals in the ceremonial sense, but it can also be applied to your relationship. Creating a ritual is just about doing something repeatedly that shows your love for one another. Simple, right?
I once knew a couple that danced every time they reconnected from work at the end of the day. You could make every Friday your date night or you could walk the dog together after work every day, hug when you see each other in the evening, dance in the kitchen like no one is watching.
Relive Memories
Looking at old photos, reading past cards and notes, reminiscing on prior vacations are all reminders of the life you are creating together and makes you feel fortunate and grateful for what lies ahead.
When you reflect on your memories, “What you have is a much larger message that speaks to your feelings towards the other person,” Dr. Cooper Lawrence said.
Use Technology The Right Way
While technology can sometimes distance people from each other (like using your phone while having an important conversation with your partner), it can also help deepen the connection between you and yours.
Doesn’t it make you feel good when your partner sends you a message during the day because something reminded him of you? Don’t you feel more connected when you’re traveling and you FaceTime to say goodnight? Use technology to create closeness even when you aren’t physically together!
There’s a YouTube video floating around that shows 80-year-old Bernard Mills waiting for his 75-year-old wife, Carolyn Ogden, with a bouquet of pink flowers and candy at the airport. When she arrives, they share a romantic embrace, multiple kisses and wide smiles.
"We're always very aware of each other's needs and desires," he said. "I always try to do things she likes, and she does likewise. Sometimes, I'll hug and kiss her in the kitchen unexpectedly, or while I'm watching TV, I'll get up to surprise and kiss her. Before sleeping, I always make sure to kiss her goodnight and tell her I love her.”
I’ll leave you with this quote by Dr. Cooper Lawrence,
“Creating a partnership is about making moments, not about creating a lifestyle.”