5 Do's and Don'ts of Moving In With Your Fiancé
If you’ve ever had a roommate, you know that moving in with someone new can sometimes be stressful. If that person is your significant other, this can make things even trickier. To keep your move with your fiancé exciting and stress-free, take a look at these do’s and don’ts of moving in together.
Do: Stay Organized
When you are preparing for your move, keeping your information and belongings organized will set you up for success. A few spreadsheets that you’ll want to keep on hand is your budget, all the spaces that you are considering, and the items that you and your partner have. Having a running document allows you and your partner to share your thoughts with one other, while being transparent with one another when making financial decisions.
You can also keep a running list of questions to ask potential landlords and realtors. You might not have thought about garbage take-away, where your water comes from, or if there’s a washer and dryer on site. You might figure out new amenities that weren’t initially important to you, and keeping a list will remind you to ask the important questions for every place you look at.
Do: Maintain Your Independence
Joining spaces is a big step in any relationship, but it doesn’t have to be the end of your social life or independence. You will be spending a lot of time with your partner once you move in, so maintaining time apart for your own friends and activities will play an important role in your new lifestyle. Keep up with your friends and don’t be afraid to take a night to yourself during the week. Having a space to call your own within your home can also be healthy for your relationship, whether it’s an entire room, or just a chair in your apartment where you keep your favorite blanket and a stack of books. Having a place to call your own within your joint space is the perfect way to take some alone time to recharge, even if you are both home at the same time. It’s natural to want time for your own hobbies and priorities, so be open and honest with your partner when you just need a little time to yourself.
Do: Discuss Decorations and Furnishings
A big part of making your home feel comfortable will be how you decorate it and the furnishings that you include. When decorating your place, don’t assume that your partner doesn’t have an opinion about how your space should look and feel. You might be surprised at your partner's unique design tastes, and even find a new style you like. Before you buy new, you should also keep track of what you already have and what needs replacing. If you are looking to buy new furniture for your new space, enlist the help of a professional interior designer who can give you a few quick tips to make your home look like it’s off of an episode on HGTV. Start with your biggest furniture pieces and work out from there. It makes more sense to find accessories or throw pillows that will match your family room furniture rather than the other way around.
Don’t: Avoid Tough Conversations
Talking about financial expectations and budgets might be difficult to have at first. It’s natural to want to keep your financial information private, but when you take the step to move in, you will be sharing food, rent and utilities, and possibly a shared income. Having a conversations with your significant other about how you’re going to afford your necessities and amenities will help you avoid financial stress down the road. When picking out an apartment or home, discuss what your best options are for your budget and speak up if there any concerns. You’ll want to start out on the right foot in your new space without worrying about money.
Don’t: Abandon Your Manners
It’s true that your spouse is supposed to love you despite your flaws, but that doesn’t give you a free pass to forgo your manners in your new space. When you move in with your partner, you will be sharing appliances, groceries, a bedroom and your list of chores. You’ll be sharing tight quarters, and being respectful of your partner’s belongings, time, and energy will be vital to your success in your new home. Sit down and have a conversation about what chores you prefer to take care of and what each of your expectations are for the cleanliness of your home. When things start to bother you, communicate with your partner right away without being hostile. During this time, you’re both getting used to sharing a space with one another, so be respectful and patient as you navigate your new lifestyle.