Butt Out, Please
“Please... I just need some time to enjoy my engagement,” I said to my parents about a month after Greg proposed. All the questions I’d been getting as soon as the news was out were overwhelming me.
“Where? When? What’s your style?” they asked. "They" can range from family to friends and even acquaintances.
Admittedly, it’s hard to refrain from the barrage of questions that come when someone you know has gotten engaged. And everyone is legitimately so happy for you. But when you’re the bride or groom, it’s hard to keep it all in perspective and the outside interference can get downright frustrating.
But it doesn’t have to be. A little premeditation goes a long way in managing unwanted involvement and keeps you in control. Here are some tips that worked for me:
Set a date. Not THE date, but a point in time that you make it ok for friends and family to help you think about the details of your wedding. Before then, make it known that you’ll be spending quality time with your new fiancée to revel in your engagement. Something like this: “Actually Greg and I are having an amazing time celebrating our engagement right now. We will be delving into wedding planning details after the New Year.”
Be clear about your priorities. Let your friends and family know exactly what you’re working on now and that their opinions are important, but you are taking wedding planning step by step. For example, “Right now, I’m focusing on my engagement party, but we can circle back to this conversation when I’m ready to consider florists.”
Double up. Make a pact with your fiancée and make all your decisions as a team. This is good practice for the future too! If you have outside conversations (i.e., those that don’t involve your fiancée) about planning your wedding, update your partner. This will help to avoid undo stress from not being on the same page.
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